Book Talk Review; The Colors Between Us

I am dead. Kate Hawthorne murdered me. 



Roland Wilson is a haunted man.

A decade past his last successful gallery showing, Roland's life has crumbled. Imprisoned by his own mind and taunted daily by painful memories, he finds his only comfort in drinking. With a life that has devolved into nothing brighter than variants of gray, he sees little point in his existence until a delivery boy with eyes of inspirational blue shows up at his door.

Adonis Smith wants something he can't have.

In his dreams, Adonis lives up to his name. He's six-feet tall and built like a god, but in reality he's just Donny-a short, nothing-special twink that no one takes seriously in or out of bed. Then he meets Roland, a beautiful, yet brash, struggling artist who is consumed by his own shortcomings. Donny knows he shouldn't get involved with the handsome and tempestuous man, but the more Donny sees of him, the more he wants Roland to be his...for good.

A mutual inspiration.

As the feelings between the two men develop into something colorful and vibrant, it seems each has finally found what he needs. But Roland still has demons, and Donny refuses to accept less than he deserves. When Roland enters a spiral of self-destruction, it derails his relationship with Donny and sends them both into a tailspin. On their own, each man will need to decide if he is strong enough to stand beside the other and face the future together.

Will they be able to rediscover the best parts of each other before the colors between them fade for good?

*

I have to preface this by saying that if you're a regular Book Talker than you should have an idea of why this book ripped my heart out and then proceeded to stomp on it about a million times. I've given enough hints over the years about my own issues to make it known that books centering around certain issues and topics hit me way closer to home than others.

Kate Hawthorne murdered me y'all, but I can't even be mad about it because she did it so perfectly well.

*


I'm pretty sure I cried at least five buckets worth of tears over this book. The Colors Between Us is everything and then some. If you don't want to feel, deeply, then don't read this book. That's all I have to say about that.

Kate Hawthorne didn't just give us a book. She gave us life. She gave us the ugly parts of life and she makes no apologies for it and I am just...I'm speechless. Tell me, Book Talkers, how many times have you found me speechless? Once before, right? This woman took my soul, splattered it across the pages of this book, and then lit them on fire. And I liked it. Yes, yes I did.

Roland and Donny do not have an easy go of things. I do not recommend this book to you unless you have about six hours to read and a whole box of tissues. It's just that good y'all.

I wasn't going into this book completely blind, there's a small trigger warning at the beginning of this book. It helps set the stage for what you might encounter, but of course you don't know until you actually read. The pain that Roland suffers is real and it lives inside real people and my heart broke and re-broke for him. My own issues stem from very different places and affect me in different ways, but I could feel every single emotion and ounce of pain that Roland did as if it were my own. It made for a very difficult read. It also made for a very fulfilling one.

How can I say that? How can I go and talk about how intense this book is but also say that it's lovely and fulfilling and so damn perfect in all it's flawed glory at the same time?

Simple: it's necessary. Books like this is why I don't drown in myself. Because while Roland is fiction, while his situation is fiction it's also life. And there's a beautiful type of hope reading about the same things you're going through and seeing that it is possible to be okay. Never great maybe, never one hundred percent probably, but okay enough to trust in the love someone else has for you.

Adonis, sweet, patient, caring Donny. He was just everything. Not only did he help Roland realize the important things in life. But he found himself as well. He found what it meant to love someone wholly. He knew what he was worth and he wasn't settling for less. He didn't settle for less.

The two of them start with an angry fuck, aren't those the best? The passion between the two explodes across the page.

That passion led to more. It lead to hurt, it lead to love, it lead to Roland accepting his limits and then exceeding them. It lead to two very passionate yet hurting men finding themselves individually and with each other. Donny might not have been the one hurting as deeply as Roland, but he was still hurting. It showed in all his actions.

Kate Hawthorne, I hate you. You broke me. I don't think I'll ever been the same. Thank you for that. This book is so important and it's so needed today.

*Quote-

"He had canvases washed in nothing but the perfect blue he now recognized as Donny's eyes."

"No one has ever made me feel the way you do."

"You are so much more than you let yourself be."

"You're a good thing in a sea of not so good things."


-Abri

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