Book Talkers, today Real Talk Book Talk turns three! Can you believe it? I can't.
When I started this blog it was just a random thing to do. I had been thinking about it for a while but never actually thought I could accomplish it.
Let me tell you a story.
One night, I was sitting at my computer, I wasn't really doing anything. I was bored. And I decided, why not? So I created an email, and I logged onto blogger. I was nervous as all hell, but I made what I thought was a decent looking blog. I wrote up a few posts and I called it a night.
Then I created a Facebook page, where for the first few days I was the only one who liked it. I did a series of reviews on one of my absolute favorite series, The Mystic Series by B.C. Burgess. You can find the first one here.
I was seventeen. I was a junior in high school. I was dealing with feelings I couldn't process. Feelings I still cannot process and probably never will. I was hurting. So much. I'm still hurting. But words, books and blog posts, they help with that.
I was lucky enough to find something that would help me deal with the stress of my shitty life. I was lucky to be able to find a hobby that helped me escape further into the world I loved.
We've had our ups and downs. I was struggling last year. If I hadn't met Deeps when I did, this blog wouldn't be here. I was ready to quit. After almost two years I was struggling to keep up with all the moving pieces in my life, no matter how much I had come to enjoy them.
I'm thankful for Deeps. She saved me. She saved this blog. I don't think she ever really grasped that. She's my life-saver.
I know last year Deeps and I had organized a bunch of different giveaways, but that took a lot of planning, that took a lot of work. And with everything Lei and I have going on at the moment, I had decided early on that we wouldn't plan anything this year. I hope you're not disappointed.
Now on to bigger news.
Now on to bigger news.
I have a secret Book Talkers. I'm working on something that scares the ever-living-crap out of me. I kept this secret because I don't want these two separate projects to influence each other.
I wrote a book. It will be out soon.
There, I said it. It's out in the open. I won't tell you what it's called, or what my pen name is. Those of you who have paid attention and know my real name cold probably connect the dots on your own.
I saw a blog post not to long ago bashing bloggers turned authors. I don't want or need that kind of stigma. I already have enough with being a blogger alone. So I'm sorry for keeping this secret, but watch the page, we will be posting the buy links soon. If you don't want to miss it, I suggest you buy the books we post about.
Now. While I want this birthday post to be a happy one, I need to stress that this past year has been one of the hardest of my life. Even harder than what I dealt with before I was forced to move where I live now.
Why am I telling you all this? Because you deserve the truth. I know we haven't been on the ball as much as we should be. I know we have slacked off in reviews. I will fix that. I want to get back on a schedule soon.
Book Talkers, I need you to understand how important y'all are. I would still blog without any followers, but it wouldn't be as fun. It wouldn't be as fulfilling. It's the posts, the messages, the likes and shares. It's you who make us who we are.
I am grateful for you. I am grateful for Lei.
This summer my psyche took a huge blow. I was drowning in my guilt, my depression was eating me alive.
It was Lei who helped pull me out. I don't think she realizes that. Things between us had been strained. I was afraid that I broken our friendship. I was afraid that I had ruined this blog.
It was blogging and Lei that kept me going.
There were weeks where I couldn't read, but it was my job. I had obligations, it was a struggle.
Lei slowly coaxed me back out of the shell I was hiding in.
I tell you this, so you understand why I decided not to have a big celebration. Next year we will do something. This year. This year we need a break. We need to be real with y'all.
Lei and I are trying our damnedest to get this blog back on track. I thank everyone who has stuck by our sides.
Three years is a big deal. I hope this year is the best in Real Talk Book Talks history.
Things got deep in this post. But they needed to. Because I needed to show those I care about just how much they mean to me.
I cry as I type, but that's okay. I'm slowly trying to let myself feel more things.
Book Talkers, you will always be my solace. Thank you for allowing me to be here.
Here's to another three years.