Book Talk Review: Edged

 

"Emotional support aerosol cheese"

Money can't buy happiness, and I should know. I have 8 figures in my bank account and it's still not enough to get me back to the only man I've ever loved.

ARCHIE

I can count my regrets on one hand, and they all have to do with the same person...my childhood best friend, Owen Murray. There's not much I can do to make right all the hurt I caused at nineteen, but living a decadent and hedonistic lifestyle where I don't even give myself the opportunity to make those kinds of mistakes again is a good enough start. I have great friends who love me, even if they don't know the truth about what kind of man I used to be.

But when Owen shows up in Los Angeles—at Rapture, no less—ten years after I last saw him, that's all about to change.

* * *

Archie Davidson didn't just break my heart, he also ruined my life.

OWEN

Los Angeles is a big city, so when I'm out on the west coast scouting locations for my older sister's wedding, the last thing I had expected from the trip was to run head first into a man I'd spent ten years trying to forget. Archie is as handsome as he's ever been, but far bolder and more dominant than I remember. The chemistry between us sparks like wildfire and while it's impossible for me to tell him no, it's still the favorite word I love to hear come out of his gorgeous, lying mouth.

One encounter turns into one night, turns into one weekend, and then it's more than just a quick little fling for us to get some hate and regret out of our system. Archie has worked his way under my skin and is asking for more, but there's too much history between us for yes to come easily. And why should it? I've always like it best when he denies me what I want the most.

But this time it's different. This time it's real, and we're about to find out if there's any chance of going back or if we've finally taken each other too close to the edge.

*

Edged is exactly that. Kate Hawthorne edges us into a spicy book full of regret, emotional masochism, and the good kind of pain (and maybe a little of the bad kind, too).

The book opens with a killer opening chapter, one that took my breath away and made me cry. I was prepared for this book to hurt, if the emotional masochism doesn’t get it away I don’t know what does. What I didn’t expect was to be swept away by the barrage of emotions so quickly. Second chance books are hard for me, but as with any Kate Hawthorne book, I knew it would be worth it, and how right I was.

Archie is a staple in book one, Humbled. He gives Rob the kick in the pants he needs when he is utterly ridiculous when it comes to Grayson, now it’s Archie’s turn to lose his mind over his love interest. His love interest who just happens to be the boy he left behind ten years ago. Secrets come out and Archie is forced to relive his biggest regrets if he wants a chance with the man he’s always loved. Neither of them are the same people they were though. Archie knows more about himself now than he did as a twenty-year-old college graduate. He’s built a life neither he nor Owen could have fathomed when they were just two best friends. Now with a decade of experience and pain behind them, they have a second chance to make things right…or do they.

Owen doesn’t expect to run into Archie and he sure as heck doesn’t expect the feelings that come along with seeing his ex-best friend again. Of course, best friend is too tame a word for what Archie is, but Owen refuses to open his heart to that pain again, not after he’s spent so long trying to prove to himself and his sister that he’s over the way Archie left their hometown. Does it go to plan? Of course not, this is a Kate Hawthorne book we’re talking about and she’s nothing if not predictable in the emotional damage she can cause her characters before putting them back together. What is surprising is the way she does it, and this book is no exception.

This is emotional masochism at its finest. I’ll be the first to admit I am an emotional masochist. I love having my feelings hurt—in a consensual way—it’s why I read books that I know will tear my heart out. I’ve never seen it so beautifully or accurately done as in this book though. I shouldn’t be surprised of course, nothing is ever as well done as it is in a Kate Hawthorne book. She just knows how to get to the heart of a character and reader, not only that she writes beautiful, real, and raw kink like no one else. Not only does she do it well, but it is different every time. She’s not afraid to show the uniqueness of kink and BDSM relationships. This series may be about Dominant billionaires, but none of them see kink the same. We might only have two books, but you don’t need to read the other three to know that’s true. You can feel it in the presence of each character and their interactions with the others. It’s a beautiful thing and I am here for it.

I will say, while this book hurt, I honestly think book one hurt more. Yes, yes, maybe I’m a bit crazy and a lot biased as Humbled is one of my top books of the year, but that’s the truth. Archie and Owen’s book hurt, but they like it that way. Yes, their past was rough on them both and they had things to apologize and atone for, but they didn’t shy away from that. They knew and accepted the things they did in the past and did their best in the situations they were presented. Was it the right way to go about it? No, but show me a human being that is perfect and does everything perfectly. They may be fictional characters but their reactions are too human to not understand. So while I cried while reading a few parts of this book I expected it, it wasn’t the utter devastation I felt in book one, just the overwhelming emotions of these two flawed but perfect for each other characters.

If this is what we get in book two of this series I am both excited and a wee bit scared of what comes next.

*Quote-

“I’m no knight in shining armor, Owen. I can’t erase the past between us, and I can’t erase how much I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either. I’m just trying to be honest about who I am and what I want.”

“I didn’t realize that I loved you until you told me that you hated me.”

“I don’t think there’s any end to the things I’d do for you, Archie.”

“I eat the cheese because I love you, and I walked away from you the first time because I loved you, and I sent a plane for you because I love you, and I’ll let you leave me on Monday because I fucking love you, Owen, and I know that doesn’t count for anything anymore. But I can’t stop it. I can’t fucking stop it.”